BY: MANUEL MARSELIAN
“A five-year-old should not be thinking about whether he won. He should be thinking about whether he wants to come back tomorrow.”
That idea sits at the heart of an Armenian soccer professional’s approach to youth soccer in the United States.
I recently sat down with an Armenian soccer professional to discuss some of the issues facing American youth soccer, including the pressure to win, the quality of coaching, affordability, parental involvement, and the increasingly complicated pathway from youth soccer to the professional game.
He asked not to be identified, requesting that his name and professional affiliations remain private. His perspective is shaped by a broad range of experience in the sport, including playing for clubs and youth national teams in Armenia, competing professionally, and coaching at various academies across the United States. His experience as both a player and coach, combined with his role as a father, offers a perspective on the game from multiple angles. Having a five-year-old son has given him another way to understand how children are introduced to soccer and the experiences that shape their early development.
“Today, I can’t take my five-year-old son to just any academy because I know he’s going to inherit bad habits. Everything is based on winning: how to win, how to avoid losing, and how to react when you do lose. A five-year-old should want to be there. He needs to enjoy the game, understand the sport, and then learn the technical aspects of it.
“The priorities in coaching need to change.”
Developing Players Without Losing Their Identity
For the Armenian soccer professional, winning still matters, but it should not come at the expense of development or a team’s identity.
“When a team participates in a tournament, naturally you want to win. A tournament is like a test. But if you want to win, you should want to win with your identity. You shouldn’t change who you are just because you are playing in a tournament. If you lose because you stayed true to your identity, then you can still be proud of the players and the work you have done.”
The pressure to produce results can sometimes change how coaches interact with young players.
“Sometimes, when coaches feel overwhelmed by the pressure to win, they start yelling at the kids. That’s not development. I would rather lose while staying true to our identity than win by abandoning everything we have taught the players.”
That philosophy raises another question: who is teaching the players, and are those coaches equipped to keep developing themselves?
Building the Right Environment
The expert’s experience in Southern California youth soccer has given him a close look at the challenges facing youth coaches. Some coaches want to improve but face financial and time constraints, particularly when coaching is not their primary source of income.
“There are some coaches who are motivated to learn, but they simply don’t have the ability or the resources to do it. In a way, you can’t blame them. They have other jobs because their coaching positions don’t pay well, so they can’t fully commit to coaching.”
He has chosen to dedicate himself fully to coaching, and he sees continued learning as part of that responsibility.
“In my case, I’ve chosen to dedicate myself fully to coaching. That’s a choice each coach has to make, and you can’t force someone to make it. But if they want to contribute to the development of young athletes, they need to continue learning and develop new aspects of their coaching so they can teach their players the right way.”
For families, another concern is cost.
Competitive youth soccer requires fields, coaches, equipment, travel and administration. The expert observes that Armenian academies and clubs in Southern California generally do not charge the same level of fees as some other youth soccer programs. He believes clubs should also have ways to support talented players who cannot afford the full cost.
“It’s normal for academy soccer to cost a significant amount. What I don’t think is normal is for a club not to have a scholarship system to support its top players. A club can charge a reasonable fee while also providing scholarships or other incentives for talented players who may not be able to afford the full cost. Clubs need to find ways to make their programs accessible to talented young players without simply continuing to raise participation fees.”
He points to differences among elite youth programs, noting that some academies do not charge players. He also believes clubs can explore other sources of revenue rather than continually placing more of the financial burden on families.
Parents are another part of the equation.
“Parents are also much more involved today than they were when I was playing. In my day, my parents generally did not get involved in coaching decisions. They weren’t asking why their son wasn’t playing enough or why another player’s son was getting more playing time.
“Today, parents are much more aware of what is happening in soccer, but sometimes they also get involved in areas that really should be left to the coaches. There needs to be a balance between parental involvement and allowing coaches to do their jobs.”
The development environment, however, is only part of the challenge. Players also need a path forward as they get older.
Keeping Players on the Pathway
Being identified as a talented young player does not necessarily mean making an immediate move. The expert explains that some academy programs take a longer-term approach when recruiting very young players.
“At the academy level, we don’t necessarily go after very young talented players immediately. We let them know that we are interested in them, develop a relationship with the family, and may agree that in two years they can make the move. It gives the player time to continue developing before making that transition.”
The more difficult questions often come later, when players approach the end of their academy years.
“When a player reaches 17 or 18 years old, they start asking themselves, ‘What is my future?’ Between the ages of 17 and 19, they begin to wonder, ‘What happens if I don’t make it?’ Some go to college, some start working, and some simply leave the game. The reality is that only a small percentage of players make it to the professional level.”
The expert believes this is one of the points where talented players can be lost.
“The systems are changing, but it is still very difficult for a player coming through a regular academy to reach the professional level. This is one of the stages where we lose a lot of talented players.”
There are now more options, including MLS NEXT Pro, USL and UPSL, while college soccer remains another route.
“There are changes taking place, although it is still too early to say whether all of them will be good or bad. We now have UPSL teams that are becoming competitive, and MLS NEXT Pro provides another pathway. Players have more options than they did before, in addition to the college route.”
The broader academy-to-professional model offers one example of how the pathway can work.
“The pathway begins with the academy at around 12 years old and continues through 18. From there, players can move into the second team, which participates in MLS NEXT Pro, and then into the professional team in MLS.”
The expert sees different roles for the professional levels as players develop.
“MLS is the highest level, while USL provides another professional pathway with more experienced players. MLS NEXT Pro provides an important environment for younger players who are developing and preparing for the professional level.”
The question is whether those opportunities can keep more players involved long enough to discover where they fit in the game.
That question becomes even more significant when looking at the future of the U.S. national team.
Looking Beyond 2026
The 2026 World Cup provides an important backdrop, but the expert believes the lessons extend beyond one tournament. The details that separate players at the highest level, he argues, are developed much earlier.
“If you look at the U.S. national team at the 2026 World Cup, I believe they showed character, dedication and identity. Credit goes to the coach and the players for staying faithful to their identity, even when the results did not go their way. What did not work were some of the small details that should have been developed over the years. At the highest level, those small details can make a big difference.”
He also believes the next generation will need a balance between experience and young players ready to compete for opportunities.
“You need experienced players, but you also need young players who are hungry to earn their opportunity. In my opinion, the U.S. national team will be better prepared for the 2030 World Cup than it was for the 2026 tournament.”
His comments bring the discussion back to the young players who are currently entering the sport.
American youth soccer is too large and diverse to be defined by a single challenge. Coaching matters. Affordability matters. Parental involvement matters. So does the pathway from youth soccer to the professional game.
The American soccer landscape offers young players more academies, leagues and pathways than previous generations experienced. The challenge is bringing those pieces together while keeping the player at the center.
A five-year-old should be allowed to enjoy the game.
A developing player should be taught rather than defined by the result of a weekend tournament.
A talented player should have access to opportunity regardless of family income.
And a teenager who does not immediately reach the professional level should still have meaningful ways to continue playing.
The 2026 World Cup may have focused attention on the U.S. national team, but the longer story of American soccer is being written much earlier, on youth fields, in academies and clubs, in training sessions and games.
It is being written by coaches who continue to learn, parents who learn when to step forward and when to step back, and young players discovering what they can become.
The future of American soccer will not be built only when the next generation walks onto a World Cup field. It will be built years earlier, when a five-year-old decides that he wants to come back tomorrow.