Author: Karakhanian Suren

AZG Armenian Daily #144, 17/08/2005
Neighbors
SAAKASHVILI LOOKS TO 100.000 ARMENIAN TOURISTS IN AJARIA
At the meeting with Armenian journalists holidaying in Batumi,
Ajaria, Georgian President Mikheil Saakashvili stated that around
100.000 Armenian citizens will spend their vacation in Ajaria in
2006. According to Novosti agency, Saakashvili welcomed Armenian
businessmen willing to invest in hotel construction and tourism
development in Ajaria. In 2005, tens of thousands of Armenian citizens
spent their holiday on the seaside of Ajaria.

First-ever Sino-Russo war games begin
Al Jazeera
Wednesday 17 August 2005,
Some 10,000 troops will take part in the Yellow Sea exercise
Russian navy ships and long-range bombers are heading to a Chinese
peninsula jutting into the Yellow Sea for the first-ever joint military
exercise between the two countries.
While the exercise involves a mock intervention to stabilise an
imaginary country riven by ethnic strife, Moscow and Beijing say the
exercise starting on Thursday – set to include some 10,000 troops
from land, sea and air forces â~@~S are not aimed at any third country.
Analysts agree Russia and China are unlikely to team up against a
common enemy.
They say the manoeuvres are more of an exhibition of Russian arms –
including the country’s long-range strategic bombers, which can carry
nuclear weapons – in the hope of attracting Chinese buyers.
Still, both countries will be looking to prove their military might
during the eight days of war games on the Shandong peninsula.
The US Defence Department said in a report last month that China’s
military was increasingly seeking to modernise and could become a
threat to American and other forces in the Asia-Pacific region as it
looked to spread its influence.
Weakness
The Russian military is also eager to show it can still flex its
muscle despite much-publicised woes.
Russia will showcase long-range TU-22 bombers in the exercise
Its weaknesses were highlighted again earlier this month when
Russia had to call for outside help to rescue seven men stranded in
a mini-submarine off its Pacific coast in operations that involved
the Vladivostok-based Pacific Fleet.
The Pacific Fleet is also taking part in the Chinese-Russian exercises,
dubbed “Peace Mission 2005”.
They come amid warming ties between the countries since the end of
the Cold War, driven by mutual concerns about the United States’
dominance in world affairs, as well as a shared interest in combating
extremism in Central Asia.
The two are the dominant countries in the Shanghai Cooperation
Organisation, a grouping that includes the former Soviet republics
of Central Asia and which this year took on Iran, India and Pakistan
as observers.
Representatives from the organisation’s countries have been invited
to watch the war games.
At a summit in July, the organisation called on Washington to set a
date for the withdrawal of its forces from Central Asia, where they
have been deployed since after the 11 September 2001 attacks on the
US to help support operations in neighbouring Afghanistan.
US reaction
The US said it has been advised of the exercises by both governments
but is not sending any observers.
“We expect that whatever activities take place would be ones that
would further what we believe is everybody’s shared goal of stability
and peace in the region,” US State Department spokesman Sean McCormack
said on Monday in Washington.
“We would hope that anything that they do is not something that would
be disruptive to the current atmosphere in the region”
Sean McCormack, spokesman, US State Department
“We would hope that anything that they do is not something that would
be disruptive to the current atmosphere in the region.”
Despite Russia and China’s shared interest in Central Asia, Beijing’s
main focus for now lies on Taiwan, which China lays claims to and
has threatened to invade if the island declares formal independence.
Earlier, Russian news reports said Beijing had pushed to have the
exercises staged closer to Taiwan – making it appear to be a possible
rehearsal for an invasion.
Analysts have noted the involvement of Russia’s Tu-95 strategic
bombers and Tu-22M long-range bombers in the exercises – warplanes
that can carry conventional or nuclear-tipped cruise missiles and
are not usually part of peacekeeping operations.
Tempting buyers
But the aircraft are expected to top China’s shopping list both to
deter US assistance to Taiwan in the event of a conflict and project
Chinese strength across the region.
During the drills, the Tu-95s will conduct demonstration flights in
the area while the Tu-22Ms will test-fire missiles at ground targets,
the deputy chief of Russia’s Land Forces in charge of the exercise,
Colonel-General Vladimir Moltenskoi, said last week.
General Yuri Baluyevsky, the head of the Russian armed forces general
staff, said in a newspaper interview last week that the aircraft were
taking part because the exercise is being staged far from Russian
bases and would help enforce a simulated aerial blockade.
But Russia’s air force chief said earlier this year that the bombers
would be involved in the exercises to tempt Chinese buyers.
“These weapons that China is buying are clearly designed for a possible
standoff over Taiwan,” said Pavel Felgenhauer, an independent defence
analyst based in Moscow.
Policy shift
The purchase of such strategic items in the past had been prevented
by the Russian military, which must approve all sales to outside
countries, he said.
“Having such exercises demonstrates the closeness of the two
militaries… This is a political-military exercise, much more
political than military”
Pavel Felgenhauer, independent defence analyst based in Moscow
“Having such exercises demonstrates the closeness of the two
militaries. That’s important if China wants to buy these weapons
systems,” he said. “This is a political-military exercise, much more
political than military.”
Beyond the sales pitch, it seems highly unlikely Russia would ever
join China in a fight over Taiwan, said Robert Karniol, Asia-Pacific
editor for military journal Jane’s Defence Weekly.
“There are no indications of coming together to form a strategic
alliance of Moscow and Beijing,” he said.
However, the exercise demonstrates a shift in the Chinese military’s
policy from its typical inward focus, Karniol said.
“They’ve come to increasingly accept multilateral solutions and
accepted the understanding that there are things to learn from
exercising with other countries,” he said.
–Boundary_(ID_loG7tiyLXrMsWBY4y8gmaw)–

PRESS RELEASE
Catholicosate of Cilicia
Communication and Information Department
Contact: V.Rev.Fr. Krikor Chiftjian, Communications Officer
Tel: (04) 410001, 410003
Fax: (04) 419724
E- mail: [email protected]
Web:
PO Box 70 317
Antelias-Lebanon
Armenian version:
OPENING OF THE INTELLECTUALS’ CONFERENCE IN ANTELIAS
“BELONGING TO ONE NATION HAS BECOME THE BASIS OF OUR UNITY, THE SOURCE
OF OUR STRENGTH AND
THE SUSTAINING POWER OF OUR SURVIVAL”
Says His Holiness Aram I
Antelias, Lebanon – The meeting of intellectuals from Armenia and the
Diaspora officially started on August 11 under the patronage of His
Holiness Aram I. His Holiness Aram I said prayers and the Seminary’s
choir delivered “Hair Mer”.
20 intellectuals, politicians and leaders from Armenia and several
communities from the Diaspora are attending the conference. The
Ambassador of Armenia to Lebanon, Mr, Arek Hovhannisian, and the
director of the “Armenia” pan Armenian fund, Naira Melkoumian also
attended the opening of the conference. Lebanese Armenian intellectuals
and political leaders were present as observers.
His Holiness Aram I talked about the direction the conference should
take and its prospects.
“We hope that the unique nature of this gathering would provide an
opportunity for free thought, realistic analyses and honest judgments
away from all kinds of influences and prejudiced approaches,” said
His Holiness.
His Holiness stressed the importance of dialogue. “Talking
about each other away from one another leads us to alienation,
polarization. Being together and talking with one another lead us to
unity and progress. Our nation should choose the second path.”
His Holiness called upon the attendants to come out of their closed
circles and stay open to new challenges. “We need new and wider spaces
to inter-act with each other”, said Aram I. He stressed cooperation
as the pivot of the Armenian nation’s collective struggle.
“The sense of belonging to one nation has become the unshakable basis
of our unity, our strength, our survival. Therefore, we should talk
about cooperation between the two societies of a single nation. Any
other approach is not acceptable,” said His Holiness.
The Pontiff spoke about the current status of Armenia-Diaspora
cooperation, outlining the importance of getting to know one another
better. He pointed out that during the first few years of Armenia’s
independence and the Karabakh liberation war, the Diaspora dedicated
its heart and money to Armenia. His Holiness said, however, that
unfortunately this aid has started to decrease.
His Holiness summarized the main purpose of the conference in the
following three points: giving a new impetus to the cooperation between
Armenia and the Diaspora, challenge intellectuals to make people’s
voices and will heard, discussing the factors hindering cooperation
and looking for ways for giving a new drive to this cooperation.
The first two sessions of the conference were dedicated to what has
been achieved to this date in Armenia-Diaspora cooperation. Levon
Meguerdtchian, an MP from Armenia, and Jirair Tanielian, a well-known
scholar, chaired the sessions.
Hranoush Hagopian, an MP from Armenia, and Bedros Terzian from France
were the speakers during the first session.
Hagopian talked about the main incidents in Armenian history of the
last decades and considered the current situation as a consequence
of these incidents. She expressed optimism in the prospects for
cooperation, praising the decision of His Holiness to hold the
conference in Antelias, Lebanon “which remains the main community in
the Diaspora after the Genocide.”
Bedros Terzian talked about the future of Armenia and the Diaspora
the way he pictures it. He stressed the importance of renewal of
structures, betterment of quality and the importance of giving a new
impetus to Armenia-Diaspora cooperation.
Ambassador Arek Hovhannisian commended the conference and the
attendants started a discussion about the challenges facing
Armenia-Diaspora cooperation.
His Holiness Aram I delivered the concluding remarks after the two
sessions of the first day. “We should make diagnosis of the problem
and seek the cure in order to build cooperation on strong pillars,”
said His Holiness. He spoke about confusion between two realities,
government policy and national ideology.
“The two have different priorities and approaches. But there is
a pan-national ideology that requires discussion of pan national
problems, strengthening of Armenia and the Diaspora through organized,
systematic and close cooperation,” said His Holiness.
His Holiness emphasized that the attendants should look for new
models and methods of cooperation, leaving behind the traditional,
classical and outdated ways. He said Armenians need to adopt pan
Armenian approaches to issues and should create pan Armenian values
transcending local mentalities and approaches.
“We have shortage of manpower both in Armenia and the Diaspora. We
have started to get to know one another well. We should continue this
way. We should gradually move from romantic patriotism to realistic
patriotism. What Armenia gives us is not direction, what we give
Armenia is not aid. What each does for the other is contribution to
the strengthening of the Diaspora and the building of the motherland,”
said His Holiness.
Aram I stressed the importance of devising plans to renew all Armenian
structures in Armenia and the Diaspora.
##
View pictures here:
*****
The Armenian Catholicosate of Cilicia is one of the two Catholicosates
of the Armenian Orthodox Church. For detailed information about
the history and the mission of the Cilician Catholicosate, you may
refer to the web page of the Catholicosate,
The Cilician Catholicosate, the administrative center of the church
is located in Antelias, Lebanon.
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress

Chicago Tribune, IL
Aug 15 2005
Turkish scholar’s detention contested
Supporters decry his arrest in Armenia
By Catherine Collins
Special to the Tribune
ISTANBUL — In a rare display of cooperation, more than 200
international academics and intellectuals have sent a letter to the
Armenian president urging the release of a Duke University scholar
who went on trial this month in the former Soviet republic.
Yektan Turkyilmaz, a Turkish citizen of Kurdish background, has been
charged with violating the Armenian criminal code, a catchall that
forbids transporting contraband ranging from narcotics and poisons
to nuclear weapons and cultural objects.
Turkyilmaz, a doctoral candidate, was arrested June 17 as he tried
to leave the country with two suitcases of used books. He has been
held in a former KGB maximum-security prison in the Armenian capital,
Yerevan, and faces up to eight years in prison if convicted.
“The political implications of this arrest cause grave concern,”
read the letter, sent recently by a group that included intellectuals
and academics on both sides of the Armenian mass killings divide.
Professors from the Universities of Chicago, Michigan and Minnesota
were among those who signed the letter.
The treatment of Turkyilmaz, the letter said, “would send a deterrent
signal to other independent scholars.”
Former U.S. Sen. Bob Dole, a staunch advocate for Armenian issues,
also weighed in with a letter to Armenian President Robert Kocharian.
“Your detention of Yektan for seven weeks on any grounds would draw
attention to failings in Armenia’s democratic evolution,” Dole wrote.
“To detain him on grounds as dubious as these calls into question
Armenia’s commitment to democracy.”
The trial started Tuesday and is expected to last up to a month.
Turkyilmaz’s research into how Turks, Armenians and Kurds interacted
for centuries in the Anatolia melting pot touched on the sensitive
issue of the mass killings of Armenians in the waning days of the
Ottoman Empire.
Armenia and Armenian-Americans have been lobbying governments worldwide
to label the deaths genocide. The Turkish government insists the
deaths were the results of a civil insurrection that also claimed
the lives of innocent Turks.
Turkyilmaz’s supporters contend that the emotional topic got the
scholar into trouble, not the books he bought in second-hand stalls
and markets.
In nearly two weeks of interrogation, the academic said through
friends, he was never questioned about his books but instead about
his research and a compact disc of archival information that was to
be the basis for his writing. The disc has been confiscated.
“This should not be a political issue; this should be for the
historians to look into and decide,” said an official at the Turkish
Foreign Ministry who spoke on condition of anonymity. “From what we
had heard, this young scholar seemed to support the Armenian side of
the so-called genocide debate. It is such a strange turn of events,
to arrest him.”
For the last two years, Turkyilmaz has conducted research in Turkish
and Armenian libraries and the Turkish national archives. This year,
he was the first Turkish citizen allowed access to the Armenian
national archives, according to an Armenian government press release.
A bibliophile, Turkyilmaz scoured bookstores and open-air markets for
old books. Supporters say no one told him he needed special permission
to take the books from Armenia.
Several American and Armenian scholars have said that they also were
unaware of the restriction. Although the law has been used in stopping
the export of cultural goods such as religious icons and carpets,
it is thought to be the first time it has been applied to books.

CIS antiterrorist units in Belarus contest practise freeing hostages
Belarusian television, Minsk
11 Aug 05
The complex storming of a multistorey building with hostages. A new
stage in the contest among special-purpose units [from Belarus,
Russia, Ukraine and Armenia] began today. According to the event
organizers, all the competition participants will be able to
demonstrate their skills at this stage of the contest. Pyrotechnics
experts, snipers and storm-troopers will be quite busy. According to
the scenario, there are hostages on the ground and the first floors of
the building. Foreign antiterrorist units have already experienced
such activities in practice. Fortunately, Belarusians are mastering
their skills on a training range. Belarus’s Almaz special-purpose unit
has been the leader in terms of scores gained so far.
[Video shows the building with “hostages”, servicemen running and
getting ready for storming the building.]

Draft documents on CSTO peacekeeping activity are ready-view
ITAR-TASS News Agency
August 4, 2005 Thursday
MOSCOW, August 4 — Draft documents on the CSTO peacekeeping activity
are ready, said Valery Semerikov, deputy secretary-general of the
Collective Security Treaty Organisation.
The CSTO secretary-general told Itar-Tass on Thursday, “The CSTO
strengthens and it is necessary to create its own peacekeeping
potential in order to ensure stability and security in the CSTO
responsibility zone and involve the CSTO in U.N. peacekeeping
operations.”
He recalled, “In June 2004 the CSTO supreme body – the CSTO Council
– approved a concept on the creation and functioning of the CSTO
peacekeeping activity and instructed to prepare necessary documents.”
“Draft documents are being worked out. They will lay a necessary
foundation for the CSTO peacekeeping activity. Draft documents are
being coordinated by members states of the CSTO – Armenia, Belarus,
Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Russia and Tajikistan,” Semerikov said.
On Wednesday, CSTO member-states are working on an agreement on
interstate programmes for basic and applied research. Semerikov
told Itar-Tassdraft agreement is finalised and submitted to CSTO
member-states for consideration.
The agreement “will become a legal foundation for solving foreign
political, military and military-technical problems. It will help
counteract trans-national challenges and threats to security posed
to CSTO member-states within interstate programmes,” the CSTO deputy
director general said.
The draft agreement is being coordinated by Armenia, Belarus,
Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Russia and Tajikistan.

Armenian Youth Federation-YOARF Eastern US
80 Bigelow Ave
Watertown, MA 02472
Tel. (617) 923-1933
Fax (617) 924-1933
Press Release
For Immediate Release ~ July 28, 2005
Contact: Sossi Essajanian
(617) 923-1933
[email protected]
AYF-YOARF Internship Program in Full Gear in Armenia
WATERTOWN, Mass.?For the past two months, Aline Alexanian, Arevat
Garamova and Liya Manukian have been learning and living Armenia. As
members of the 2005 Armenian Youth Federation (AYF) Eastern Region
Internship program, the three, along with their directors Serouj
Aprahamian and Vahag Melkonian, have been in Armenia since June,
working and traveling around the country.
Aprahamian and Melkonian assigned a position to each intern according
to her interests. Alexanian, a biology and Spanish double major at
the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, works at St. Gregory
the Illuminator Hospital, focusing on the medical field in Armenia.
Fellow intern Garamova, majoring in Russian studies, political science
and history at the University of California at Los Angeles (UCLA)
is interning at Cafesjian Museum Foundation. Manukian, an exercise
biology major at the University of California at Davis, spends her days
working at the American University of Armenia?s Cardiac Surgery Center.
Living in an apartment in downtown Yerevan, the group enjoys a
birds-eye view of the goings-on in the city. But while they are not
working, Alexanian, Garamova, Manukian, Aprahamian, and Melkonian
spend their days learning the ins and outs of both Armenia and
Karabagh. Thus far, the group has explored Yerevan, visiting such
sites as the Dzidzernagapert Genocide Monument and the Madenataran
manuscript museum. Venturing outside the city, they toured the
churches of Etchmiadzin, St. Hripsime and St. Gayane. ?This was a very
educational experience where the group learned a lot about Armenia?s
rich religious history,? said director Aprahamian.
Also as part of the program, the interns participate in the
Birthright Armenia forums and classes during the week and as a
consequence, spend a lot of time with other people they met through
the Birthright program. During their trip to the temple of Garni,
as well as the church of Geghard, several Birthright participants
joined the trip. Making the day especially exciting was that the trip
fell on the traditional holiday of Vartevar, where everyone throws
water on each other. ?It was very fitting that we were in Garni that
day, given the pagan roots of this holiday,? said Aprahamian. Later,
the group packed their van for a two-day trip to northern Armenia,
visiting Dilijan, as well as the Haghartsin and Goshavank monasteries,
with an overnight trip to Sevan.
Other trips took Alexanian, Garamova, Manukian, Melkonian and
Aprahamian to Armenia?s northern cities of Gyumri, Spitak and
Davtashen. Along with fellow Birthright participants, the group
visited churches, a cemetery of earthquake victims, and saw the
impact of the 1988 earthquake on the community. In Gyumri, they
saw buildings devastated by the quake, and visited the town museum,
which included much information on the history of Gyumri, artifacts
from the past, and works of art, as well as photography. They then
headed to Davtashen and in a neighboring village, visited a museum
in honor of Kevork Chavoush. ?It was very interesting and it gave
the entire group an opportunity to learn about the fedayee movement
and its contributions to Armenia,? said Aprahamian.
As part of the Birthright program, the group also had the opportunity
to meet with Foreign Minister Vartan Oskanian, where they discussed
topics such as dual citizenship, Artsakh, Turkish-Armenia relations,
as well as Genocide recognition and reparation. The group later viewed
the documentary ?Armenia: A Country Under Blockade? as part of the
Golden Apricot International Film Festival taking place in Yerevan
from July 12-17. The film discussed the effects of Turkey?s blockade
on Armenian society.
When participants of the AYF West Coast Youth Corps arrived in July,
the Alexanian, Garamova, Manukian, along with Aprahamian and Melkonian
met with the group and bid them farewell as they set out to Vaik,
where they are spending the remainder of time in Armenia doing
construction work there at a local youth center.
At the same time, the Armenian Cultural and Educational Society
(Hamazkayin) hosted its Armenia Forum program in Yerevan, and featured
a lecture by Armenian studies professor Richard G.
Hovannisian as part of the program. The group was invited to attend
the lecture, which took place at the Yerevan State University
hostels. Hovannisian discussed the Armenian genocide, its impact,
current developments within Turkey, as well as the status of
reconciliation between Turks and Armenians.
As the group approaches the half way mark of the internship program,
they are preparing for more work at their internships and more trips.
>From July 29 to 31, they will be heading to Artaskh to learn about
the people, places and situation of the new republic. ?There have
been several occasions where we end up sitting up at night as a group,
often with other diasporan interns here, and have relatively fruitful
discussions about Armenia, diaspora, and other issues. These informal
discussions tend to be the most rewarding and really give everybody
the chance to reflect and build on their experiences here,?
said Aprahamian.
Since 1992, the AYF-YOARF Eastern Region Internship in Armenia has
been sending youth to work in Armenia. The eight-week internship in
Yerevan includes an orientation to Armenia during first week; weekend
and overnight trips to different parts of Armenia and Karabagh;
a scheduled lecture series; and opportunities to participate in the
Birthright Armenia program.
For more information, visit or contact the AYF Eastern
Region office at (617) 923-1933.

VIVACELL EMBARKS ON SELLING BUSINESS, BUSINESS+, OPTIMA CORPORATIVE CARDS
ARKA News Agency
Aug 3 2005
YEREVAN, August 2. /ARKA/. VivaCell, the second mobile
telecommunication operator in Armenia, has embarked on selling
Business (5-20 lines), Business+ (21-100) and Optima (over 100
lines) corporative cards. The company says per-minute prices
within corporative network will be 40, 38 and 36 Armenian drams
correspondingly. Prices for porting Business, Business+ and Optima
cards make AMD 3800, 3400 and 3000 correspondingly. Each line monthly
payment is set at AMD 3800, 3600 and 3300. Depository bill for the
three kinds of cards is equal – AMD 22500. All the corporative cards
also have fool free package of services, such as SMS messages, voice
mail, received calls identification call-waiting regime, readdressing,
international connection, multi-customer network and others. Prices
for calls made in different hours will be also different.
Rush-hour per-minute prices (from 7:00 to 23:00) for the mentioned
cards owners’ calls to Viva Cell’s other subscribers and to Armenia’s
cable network subscribers will made AMD 46, 44 and 42 correspondingly
while at the remaining hours they will be AMD 42, 42, 40. Prices for
calls to ArmenTel and Karabakh Telecom (NKR) subscribers as well as
to Nagorno-Karabakh cable network subscribers at rush hours (remaining
time) are 52 (48), 50 (48) and 50 (48).
The package-owners’ calls to Russia and Georgia will cost AMD 235 and
AMD165 (at rush and other hours), to the CIS other member countries
– AMD 285 and AMD 200, to the USA, Canada, Europe and Australia –
AMD 430 and AMD 300, Middle East countries- AMD 350 and AMD 245.
The network’s all subscribers will be able to send local SMS messages
for 20 Armenian drams and foreign – for 55. The company also says
all received calls are free. The prices are indicated with taking
into account 20-percent VAT. ($1 = AMD 447.17). M.V. –0-

US Uzbekistan base may be stationed in Azerbaijan, report says
Assa-Irada, Azerbaijan
Aug 2 2005
Baku, August 1, AssA-Irada — The military base the USA plans to
withdraw from Uzbekistan may be stationed in Azerbaijan, Russian
Nezavisimaya Gazeta newspaper reported.
The Khanabad base, previously the former Soviet Union air force base,
was given to the disposal of the United States prior to the attack it
launched on Afghanistan in October 2001. The base, located close to
the Afghan-Uzbek border, is the key US military ground in Central
Asia, stationing 1,500 military men supplied with 30 military
helicopters. The F-15 and F-16 airplanes took off 50 to 60 times
from Khanabad during the military action in Afghanistan. The base is
currently used as an airport for heavy airplanes carrying cargo and
fuel to US troops in Afghanistan.
The Russian publication also said that due to the presence of similar
US bases in Kyrgyzstan and Afghanistan, losing the base in Khanabad is
not likely to seriously affect the military supplies of US contingent.
Official Tashkent has made a decision for US to pull out its base
from Khanabad over the next 180 days.
The Azerbaijan Defense Ministry spokesman Ramiz Malikov, commenting
on the possibility of moving the base to Azerbaijani territory, told
local ANS TV channel that although the issue is of military nature,
‘it is of political importance’.
“The Ministry therefore cannot express its position on the matter.
The issue should be addressed on the state level.” Deputy Foreign
Minister Araz Azimov has said that Azerbaijan has not received any
official appeals and the reports on the issue have been released only
in some media so far.*

MOVIE REVIEW
Must Love Dogs (2 stars out of 5)
Must love retro, not to mention sweet and cute
By Roger Moore
Sentinel Movie Critic
July 29, 2005
Family Ties creator Gary David Goldberg discovers Internet dating in
Must Love Dogs, a deja viewed romantic comedy that is somewhat less
than the sum of its thefts.
Diane Lane, lately our favorite dumped fortysomething, is Sarah, a
woman “of a certain age” back in the dating scene. Her overlarge,
sit-commie family, including Elizabeth Perkins doing that sassy
sister/best friend thing she has done since About Last Night and
Christopher Plummer as her Irish, Keats-quoting dad, want her to date
again. They have an “intervention.”
That Goldberg, right on the comic cutting edge . . . of
1994. Remember, Family Ties premiered on TV in 1982. Goldberg has lost
a bit, OK, a lot, off his comic fastball. At least, he included dogs.
John Cusack, everywoman’s Sensitive Man, sleepwalks through the High
Fidelity/Serendipity sweet-guy-who-may-get-away, a role he has been
playing since Say Anything.
Heck, Dermot Mulroney is “the other man,” wishing this was My Best
Friend’s Wedding II.
Not that this doesn’t include a heaping helping of that film. And
Serendipity. And Under the Tuscan Sun and oh-so-many others. When the
sisters all start singing the theme to The Partridge Family, you
expect Rupert Everett, Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz to chime in.
Goldberg still has a way with a sensitive one-liner. Sarah’s latest
date was a dud.
“Let’s go watch Beaches,” her sister blurts.
Why don’t we all?
Distraught over the heartbreak of a failed marriage?
“I think your heart grows back bigger,” swoons Cusack’s Jake, a
wooden-boat builder who refuses to date luscious 24-year-olds because
they’re “too young,” who watches Doctor Zhivago over and over again to
show how sensitive he is.
No, there are no men like that. No straight ones, anyway.
Cusack supposedly rewrote his own lines, and the parameters of his
character are so Message in a Bottle-idealized that you wonder if he
didn’t come up with those too. He tries to snap off his zingers to
second-choice sidekick Glenn Howerton as if his normal sidekick,
Jeremy Piven, wasn’t busy with ahit TV show (Entourage).
Sarah and Jake meet cute, fail to click, meet cute and meet cute
again. They practically trip over each other trying to keep
Serendipity from kicking in.
There’s even an adorable “Every drugstore in town is out of condoms”
dash through suburban L.A. in Jake’s Prius.
Of course, he drives a Prius. Really, you can’t make this stuff up. Or
shouldn’t.
The whole Internet dating thing, which is where the title comes from,
that always fictional “profile” you post on “Per fectdate.com” or
“Americahooks up.org,” is so 20th century. The novel twist is having
older folks like Dad Plummer and Stockard Channing (as a trailer-town
tart) try it out. But themovie Goldberg cooked up could have been
plotted, scripted and cast by computer, one operating on Windows 1.0.
Small cities no longer have revival movie houses that show Doctor
Zhivago.
People don’t name their Newfoundland hounds “Mother Theresa.”
Nobody does Armenian for dinner on the first date.
And the cute-but-hurt preschool teacher is almost as worn out as the
cute-but-hurt-preschool teacher with the gay best friend.
It’s OK to be retro with your screen romance, but retro shouldn’t feel
this inept.
Copyright © 2005, _Orlando Sentinel_
,0,7733608.story?coll=3Dorl-calmusictop
From: Emil Lazarian | Ararat NewsPress