By Jirair Tutunjian

The two mass murderers—Donnie Orangutan and Bibi Satanyahu—had
a top secret conversation a few hours after the joker, who leads the
United States, announced a two-week ceasefire with Iran.
B.S.: You are my hero and the hero of every Israeli, Jew, and people
everywhere who believe in international peace, justice, democracy,
human rights, and civilization.
D.O.: Slow down, Bibi.
B.S.: You are too modest, big brother. Your classic hot-and cold
treatment of the situation will be hailed in history books. Political
science students at universities around the world will study your
strategy. It’s truly a master class in deception.
D.O.: What you say is a fact …
B.S. :We will hold an international conference in Jerusalem and
dedicate a whole week to hail your genius.
D.O.: Enough already. You sound as if you want to become my PR man.
B.S. I would love to become your PR man once I get our judicial system
off my back. Perhaps you can use your clout with the Israeli judges to
go easy about my verdict.
D.O: You demand too much.
B.S.: With your soaring popularity in Greater Israel, no judge will dare
say “no” to you.
D.O. One day at a time.

B.S.: We, Israeli political and military leaders often spout war threats to
scare our enemies…the three Ks…Khamas of Gaza, Khizbillah of
Lebanon, Khoutis of Yemen. Did you know that about 1,500 years ago
one of our generals—a proto Zionist—beat the Yemeni army? Perhaps
he was the pioneer of the great Greater Israel sacred mission.
D.O: Bibi, you know something? You talk too much. When you leave
your job, you should consider becoming a DJ or circus carney. Anyhoo.
B.S.: The two-week ceasefire, as before, will give us a breather while
you replenish our arsenal.
D.O.: Hold on to your horses, B.S. What makes you think it’s a ploy?
Maybe, I am genuinely interested in peace with Iran.
B.S.: You are such a teaser, Mr. President. You are like Jello—nobody
can pin you down. You are like a smooth eel which no one can catch.
You are such a kidder.
D.O. : No joke. I want to make peace with the Ayatollahs.
B.S.: You can’t do that.
D.O.: Watch me.
B.S.: Should I mention that we have deadly files on you. Consider that
when President Clinton was beginning to listen to the Palestinian
terrorists regarding the future of Judea and Samaria, we reminded him
about his affair with our girl…Lewinski.
D.O.: B.S., you are B.S. A perfect tag for an obnoxious low-life.
B.S.: Don’t provoke me, Donnie. Remember that we have assassinated
Lord Moyne, Count Bernadotte, a bunch of Khisballah leaders, a gang of
anti-Semite ayatollahs. I can’t vouch for it, but they say we sent
President John Kennedy to Kingdom Come and Arafat on the same trip.

D.O.: Just as you are taping this conversation, so am I. I can easily order
my forces, the strategists, and intelligence officers to make a 180-
degree turn, join the Iranian forces and rain death on your puny,
misbegotten country which wouldn’t have been born had it not been
for President Truman and my people. Yes, before you alert your AIPAC
conspirators, the bought politicians and the Zionist media, Israhell will
turn into Cinemascope, VistVision, Technicolor Gehenna. Don’t
threaten me. I’ll turn you into Lot’s wife. Ha. Ha.