ASBAREZ ONLINE
TOP STORIES
11/12/2004
TO ACCESS PREVIOUS ASBAREZ ONLINE EDITIONS PLEASE VISIT OUR
WEBSITE AT <;HTTP:// 1) Oskanian Minsk Co-chair Meet in Moscow Pre CSTO Meeting 2) ARF, Armenian Delegation Bid Yasser Arafat Farewell 3) Armenian Genocide in Argentine Curriculum 4) Opposition Supporters Seize Abkhazian President's Offices 5) Conversation with Mark Geragos 6) ARS "Erepouni" Chapter Celebrates 70 Years of Service 7) Latest Chapter in Mt. Davidson Cross Saga 8) VODKA LEMON 9) Axis Of Justice Releases CD/DVD 10) Early 'Intervention' 11) LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES? 1) Oskanian Minsk Co-chair Meet in Moscow Pre CSTO Meeting ASTANA(Combined Sources)--Foreign Minister Vartan Oskanian received Yuri Merzlyakov and Henri Jacolin, the Russian and French Co-chairs of OSCE Minsk Group, at the Armenian Embassy in Moscow on Friday to discuss the Mountainous Karabagh conflict resolution process. Oskanian, who is in Moscow for a meeting of foreign affairs ministers of member states of the Collective Security Treaty Organization (CSTO), condemned the support of certain CSTO member-states for Azerbaijan's initiative to take the Karabagh issue to the United Nations, calling it "incomprehensible." He stressed that their vote of support in the UN for the Azeri move is clearly counters the efforts of the OSCE Minsk Group, tasked to find a resolution to that conflict. Oskanian also met with Russian counterpart Sergey Lavrov to discuss bilateral ties and international developments, as well the CSTO gathering that will primarily focus on international terrorism. CSTO signatories Russia, Armenia, Belarus, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, and Tajikistan have stepped-up concerns lately about the threat of terrorism, illicit drug trafficking, irregular migration, and organized crime. 2) ARF, Armenian Delegation Bid Yasser Arafat Farewell The Armenian Revolutionary Federation (ARF) conveyed its condolences to the Palestinian Fatah Movement on the death of one of its founders Yasser Arafat, who until his death, was the head of the Palestinian Authority. In its letter, the ARF Bureau expresses profound sympathy to the Palestinian people and leadership, and hopes that they achieve victory by building an independent Palestinian state. Palestinians closed a chapter of their history on Friday by burying Yasser Arafat, their leader for three and a half decades. Arafat's Friday burial took place at Arafat's headquarters in the West Bank city of Ramallah, where Israel had kept him under siege for nearly three years. It came just hours after an orderly funeral ceremony in Cairo. Headed by National Assembly Speaker Arthur Baghdasarian, an Armenian delegation joined other foreign dignitaries in Cairo for the military funeral. 3) Armenian Genocide in Argentine Curriculum YEREVAN (Yerkir)--Following exhaustive efforts by the Armenian National Committee (ANC) of Argentina, the government of Buenos Aires has released a 44-page book on the Armenian genocide. Jointly prepared by the ANC and the Buenos Aires Department of Human Rights, the book was published in 5,000 copies and delivered to libraries and teachers in the city's 600 public schools. The book introduces the Armenian Genocide, as well as accounts by famous international and local scholars. It includes newspaper articles, maps, pictures, and a teaching curriculum. Presenting the book at the Buenos Aires state school, the renowned writer and author of the preface to the new Spanish translation of "The 40 Days of Musa Dagh," Osvaldo Bayer, denounced the Turkish government and its people for denying the genocide of Armenians. He praised the ANC and welcomed the Argentine government's courage to publish the book. 4) Opposition Supporters Seize Abkhazian President's Offices TBILISI (AP/Interfax)--Thousands of supporters of Abkhazia's opposition presidential candidate seized the office of the outgoing president Friday, raising tensions in the breakaway Georgian region nearly six weeks after a disputed--and unresolved--election. Demonstrators supporting Sergei Bagapsh and his contention that he won the Oct. 3 election stormed the headquarters of outgoing President Vladislav Ardzinba in the region's main city, Sukhumi. Election officials ruled that Bagapsh won, defeating former Prime Minister Raul Khajimba, and the region's highest court confirmed his victory. However, the court overturned the verdict hours later after hundreds of Khajimba's supporters broke into the court building and allegedly threatened the court's chief judge. Amid the turmoil, Ardzinba ordered a new election, a decision Bagapsh has refused to recognize. Earlier Friday, Bagapsh again claimed victory in a telephone interview with AP. "We were victorious in the election," he said. "That means that my inauguration as president will take place on Dec. 6." Footage on Russian television showed people waving Abkhazian flags from the windows and armed men celebrating with champagne and vodka in Ardzinba's office. Scattered fist fights were seen in the hallways, and several people were reported injured. A Bagapsh supporter, Robert Taniya, answered the phone in the presidential headquarters and said Bagapsh already occupied Ardzinba's office. But Bagapsh denied that in a telephone conversation with The Associated Press. The Interfax news agency reported that Bagapsh appealed to his supporters to disperse and promised to assume the presidency by legal means. Khajimba and Bagapsh held talks in an attempt to defuse tensions. Bagapsh told supporters that he has offered to Khajimba to form a coalition government. He said that all the presidential candidates, who were running in disputed October 3 elections, should be represented in the government. Khajimba made no comments after talks. Abkhazia, which has had de facto independence since Georgian troops were driven from the region in 1993, has been in turmoil since the Oct. 3 vote. Georgia has ignored the election turmoil. Since being elected in January, Georgian President Mikhail Saakashvili has vowed repeatedly to reign in Abkhazia and South Ossetia, another breakaway region. Russian Foreign Ministry spokesman Alexander Yakovenko said if the situation in Abkhazia takes an illegal turn, "the Russian side will have to take measures necessary for protecting its interests." "Everyone in Abkhazia must know that the entire responsibility for possible negative consequences rests with Bagapsh and his supporters, who are trying to seize power by force," he said. "We should remain calm and do maximum we can to preserve peace in Abkhazia… We will take over power with the peaceful means," Bagapsh said. 5) Conversation with Mark Geragos --San Francisco APS Hosts Famed Attorney By Teni Issakhanian Avanessian SAN FRANCISCO--The San Francisco Armenian community gathered at Vasbouragan Hall for the Armenian Professional Society's "A Conversation with Mark Geragos." The November 6 event, which kicked off APS's 23rd year of service to the Bay Area Armenian community, featured an interview and question-and-answer session with prominent attorney Mark Geragos. "Mr. Geragos is always breaking ground in the criminal defense arena and consistently setting precedent," stated APS President and moderator for the evening, Dr. John Missirian. A graduate of Loyola Law School and Haverford College, Geragos serves as the managing partner of the twelve-year-old Los Angeles-based law firm Geragos and Geragos--founded by his father and former Los Angeles APS President Paul Geragos. Known for his high-profile cases and representation of prominent figures in politics, entertainment, and business, Mark Geragos's client roster boasts the likes of actress Wynona Ryder, hip hop star Nate Dogg, superstar Michael Jackson, US. Congressman Gary Condit, the Clinton Whitewater scandal's Susan McDougal, and currently, Scott Peterson. In addition, Geragos is a self-proclaimed "stealth Armenian" who has successfully defended many young Armenians involved in shootings and gang activity in recent years. He has tackled the very real problem of racial profiling among Armenian youth in Glendale. He even served as one young Armenian man's criminal defense attorney in the first California decision on Proposition 21, which made juveniles eligible for the death penalty in California based on gang affiliation. His successful defense not only invalidated Prop. 21, but also saved his client's life, reducing the sentence from the death penalty to a brief incarceration followed by 2000 hours of community service. This young man has since turned his life around and become a trustworthy and upstanding citizen. With such stories, the APS event exposed a side of the lawyer that the public normally does not see when observing him in court, on TV, or on his recently launched Internet-based television broadcasting network. Besides criminal defense, the outspoken Geragos also candidly shared his views on the recent Presidential elections, the state of Armenians in Glendale, and his Armenian heritage. Of particular concern to him, however, was the intersection of law and politics as it affects the diaspora Armenian community. "The Armenian Bar Association is not as effective or as active as it should be. We should carry more weight with the Governor when he makes judicial appointments," Geragos expressed. He went on to criticize Armenians in positions of power as one of the primary reasons why Armenians have not made as much a name for themselves as they should have by now. He stressed that by this point in time, we should have taken greater strides to establish our reputation, our name, and our presence in business, politics, media, and public affairs. He traced this failure back to the days of George Deukmejian, former governor of California, who did not fully maximize his golden opportunity and power to help Armenians, open doors for them, and place more of them in visible, prestigious positions of clout and influence. In addition, Geragos blamed Armenians themselves for always being dissatisfied: "We have too many chiefs and not enough Indians." For this reason, Geragos believes we continue to envy Jews who--in contrast to Armenians--not only unite, but upon doing so, pull one another up by their bootstraps more loyally and in a more widespread manner. Geragos did not confine laying blame to Deukmejian, however. He went on to incite strong emotions among audience members when he reminded them about Hampig Sassounian's trial before the California Supreme Court. Of the seven-person panel, the two California Supreme Court Justices of Armenian descent--Justices Marvin Baxter and Armand Arabian--recused themselves when Sassounian's case was heard before the highest Court of the State of California. Sassounian's case may have turned out differently had Baxter and Arabian stayed on for that trial. It is worth mentioning, however, that the now-retired Arabian did sponsor many Armenian law students and young lawyers as clerks in his chambers, and he continues to remain involved in the Armenian community. No other Armenian in the legal profession has earned more of Geragos's praise than Federal District Court Judge Dikran Tevrizian who, according to Geragos, is unwaveringly committed to mentoring and helping up-and-coming Armenian law students and lawyers to excel in the profession. "He's tremendous. He is one of my heroes," Geragos pronounced with fervor. As the evening progressed, it became abundantly clear that Geragos is passionate about many things: his Aintabtsi wife and two children, his liberal political views, Armenian food (his favorites are kufteh and dolma/sarma), and his career as a criminal defense attorney. He does not apologize for his professional choice; in fact, in true criminal-defense-attorney fashion, he protects it wholeheartedly. "As a criminal defense attorney, you can't care about being liked…you must like fighting against the odds, and you must like being in the courtroom…It's not my job to determine guilt. My job is to take my client's position and argue it zealously. I'm proud of what I do. I personally think that criminal law defense is the noblest profession there is." Driving his point home, Geragos spoke of his uncles who were dragged into the desert and murdered during the genocide. He also spoke of his mother who landed in Fresno two generations ago and lived in a community where signs were posted that read: NO BLACKS, NO DOGS, NO ARMENIANS. As an Armenian who grew up hearing such tales from his mother, his Grandmother Rose and other genocide survivors, Geragos certainly understands and appreciates the plight of the underdog. This appreciation has evolved into a career devoted to challenging the Government (particularly the District Attorney's office) and defending each and every client with equal dedication and conviction." Regardless of people's views on Geragos's philosophy on politics, prominent Armenians, and his profession, his blunt and unapologetic beliefs are a refreshing change in this otherwise politically correct and tactful society. Furthermore, despite what one's opinion is about Scott Peterson's guilt or Geragos's values and priorities for choosing to represent him, most would agree that if the day ever came that they were placed in a position to need it, they would want Geragos on their side. As Dr. John Missirian summed it up at the end of the evening, "If I am ever in trouble, I know who I would like to represent me!" 6) ARS "Erepouni" Chapter Celebrates 70 Years of Service By Vickie Markarian SAN FRANCISCO--The Oakland Erepouni Chapter of the Armenian Relief Society celebrated its 70th anniversary on Sunday, October 17, with an afternoon program at the Saroyan Hall in San Francisco. Special guests from the community included Rev. Fr. Avedis Torossian of St. Gregory Armenian Apostolic Church, Serpouhi Messerlian from the ARS Western Region Executive Board, Maida Bezdjian from the San Francisco ARS Garin Chapter, among others. The program's emcee Araxie Boghossian, invited Rev. Fr. Torossian to open the evening with a prayer, followed by the Erepouni Chapter's chairlady Annie Tatarian, who spoke briefly of the chapter's various activities over the past years. ARS Western US Regional Executive Board Member Serpouhi Messerlian, praised the good works of the Erepouni Chapter, especially their weekly Armenian school and adopted school in Armenia. She also presented the chapter with a plaque on behalf of the Western Region, which read: "It is with great pleasure that we congratulate you on your 70th anniversary and wish you success in your future endeavors. Erepouni Chapter is one of the Western Region's most industrious and energetic chapters and has supported the Regional Committee every year in its helpful work to our nation." Keynote speaker Dr. Margit Hazarabedian, an auxiliary member of the Erepouni Chapter, offered a stirring and nostalgic account of the beginnings of the ARS in the Bay Area and of their wonderful work following World War II, when both the San Francisco and Oakland chapters strived to help displaced Armenians in camps overseas, and then brought them to this country through ANCHA (American National Committee for Homeless Armenians). Weaving her own family's hardships during that time, she recalled the names of the dedicated founders and early members of the Erepouni Chapter who gave so much of their time and effort. She stressed that these selfless women saved many Armenian families. One of the highlights of the program came when Vickie Markarian introduced eight former exceptional students of the Erepouni Chapter's Friday Armenian School who have either gone on to university or to the work force. The students honored were Armine Avanessians, Alex Bunch, Tamar Kozanian, Arpy Mikaelian, Kohar Shirikian, Vrej Tajirian, Hovig Tatarian, and Ani Tejirian. Markarian called each student to stage and presented them with a Certificate of Appreciation. The audience truly appreciated seeing these young people recognized in this way and gave each heartfelt applause. The program came to a lively end as The Mazmanians played a rousing version of "Ghapama." Rev. Fr. Torossian also felt compelled to offer his own words of gratitude. He stated that the ladies of the ARS deserve the thanks of all our people. In addition to caring for their own families and often working outside the home, they have taken on the task of helping their fellow Armenians, both within the community and in Armenia. The memorable evening ended with a moving candle-lighting ceremony. 7) Latest Chapter in Mt. Davidson Cross Saga --Turks agree not to appeal Armenian genocide plaque decision SAN FRANCISCO--Two Turkish-American organizations, and the Turkish Consul General, have withdrawn their lawsuit against the Council of Armenian American Organizations of Northern California rather than face the claim of the Council's attorneys for fees. The lawsuit attacked the plaque commemorating the Armenian genocide, which the Council had placed near the 103 foot cross on San Francisco's Mt. Davidson. The Council had purchased the Cross and adjacent land in 1997 from the City of San Francisco, which sold it to settle a challenge to its ownership on church-state grounds. In their lawsuit, the Turks claimed that the plaque violates the terms of the deed under which the Council acquired the Cross and land from the City. The Council's attorneys denied any violation and also urged that the Turks lacked legal standing to challenge the plaque. The lawsuit, they said, was an impermissible attempt to suppress the Council's free speech rights. The court agreed and dismissed the case. This entitled the lawyers, who were representing the Council without charge, to recover their attorneys' fees from the Turks. Faced with a claim for $100,000 in fees, the Turks agreed to abandon their appeal of the court's ruling, and submitted to an injunction against any repetition of it. They also agreed to indemnify the Council if any such lawsuit is brought by any of their members. In return, the Council's lawyers, at its request, dropped their claim for fees. Speaking for the Council, a coalition of 35 Armenian American organizations in Northern California, its Chairman, Dr. Krikor Soghikian, stated that the Turkish challenge to the memorial plaque is part of a broad campaign to oppose any public acknowledgment of the Armenian Genocide, which is officially denied by the Turkish government. The 1915 event is considered by historians as the first genocide of the 20th century, and the most significant human rights crisis of World War I. The leaders of the Ottoman empire systematically carried out the extermination of 1.5 million Armenians, more than half of the Armenian population living in its historic homeland. The overwhelming majority of Armenians living in San Francisco and the United States are descendants of Armenian Genocide survivors. Armenian Americans wished to purchase the Mt. Davidson Cross to avoid the destruction of a San Francisco landmark. As the first nation to have accepted Christianity in 301 AD, they believed that the Cross site would be an ideal gathering place to remember their forefathers. Turkish groups actively opposed the purchase, conducting a protest campaign urging city officials, neighborhood and political groups, to vote against the enabling proposition, but 68% of San Francisco voters cast their ballots in favor of the proposition. The plaque was unveiled in 1988 by Mayor Willie Brown, in the presence of several Genocide survivors. It reads: "The Mt. Davidson Cross was designed and built by George Kelham and inaugurated by President Franklin D. Roosevelt in 1934. In 1997, the citizens of San Francisco voted to approve the sale of the monument to the Council of Armenian American Organizations of Northern California., to preserve it as a historic landmark. This revered site is cared for in memory of the 1,500,000 victims of the Armenian Genocide perpetrated by the Turkish government from 1915 to 1918. Over half the Armenian population on its ancient homeland was killed, and no Armenian community remained in historical Western Armenia. By honoring those lost, we honor all victims of injustice and cruelty. In their name, we dedicate ourselves to the protection of human rights and the dignity of all peoples. If evil of this magnitude can be ignored, If our children forget, Then we deserve oblivion, And earn the world's scorn. Avedis Aharonian (writer and educator, 1866-1948) Armenian Genocide Commemoration Day April 24, 1998." The Council was represented in the lawsuit by David Balabanian, Geoffrey Holtz, and Matthew Gray of Bingham McCutchen, an 850 lawyer firm with offices in 12 cities. 8) VODKA LEMON A bittersweet concoction with a kick "Vodka Lemon is the only thing the Russians have left them is the one thing they didn't have before-their freedom," explains one of the characters in the film Vodka Lemon, by Iraqi Kurd director Hiner Saleem. The third feature by the exiled director portrays an abandoned community that's magically upbeat. With its blinding-white vistas, graceful Armenian score, the film celebrates its quirky characters while it mourns their plight. "A blessed wonder…Saleem displays the visual confidence and subtle screwball rhythms of a master," writes the Village Voice. Synopsis In the snowy badlands of post soviet Armenia, village life is nearing subsistence level. The Russians have long departed, and almost all of the village's young men have gone abroad for work. In the heart of sixty-something-year-old Hamo, a handsome widower, hope rests through his youngest son, who has recently immigrated to France in search of work. Hamo's sole possessions on earth are barely enough to sustain him. But Hamo finds contentment through his daily bus trips to the local cemetery where his wife has been laid to rest. During one of these visits Hamo notices Nina, a beautiful fifty-year old widow. Although an initial attraction between the two is clear, Hamo's loyalty to his dead wife and Nina's shyness forestalls the two from allowing the sparks to fly. Nina retreats to her job at the desolate village bar, Vodka Lemon, and Hamo hustles home with hope waning that his son in Paris has mailed him. Retreating back to the cemetery, Hamo once again runs into Nina--and with a few kind gestures, the two begin a September-December romance that leads to the film's indelible conclusion of love among the ruins. The winner of the San Marco prize at the Venice Film Festival, Vodka Lemon's exclusive Los Angeles engagements begin at Laemmle's Fairfax Cinemas in the Fairfax District and One Colorado Cinemas in Old Town Pasadena on Friday, November 19. The Fairfax is located at 7095 Beverly Boulevard in the Fairfax District and the One Colorado in Old Town Pasadena. Call 310-274-6869 or 626-744-1224 for show-time information. See <; 9) Axis Of Justice Releases CD/DVD The revolution may not be televised, but it is available on your CD player this fall. The Axis of Justice: Concert Series Volume I was recorded at the Avalon in Los Angeles as one in a series of benefits for Axis of Justice, the non-profit organization founded by Serj Tankian of System Of A Down and Tom Morello of Audioslave/Rage Against The Machine, in an effort to bring concerned musicians, fans of music, and grassroots political organizations together to fight for social justice. The unique night of music featured performances and surprises by a number of special guests, including Red Hot Chili Peppers bassist Flea, Tool/A Perfect Circle's Maynard James Keenan and Pete Yorn. The album includes the donated track from Chris Cornell and Keenan of their cover of Nick Lowe's "(What's So Funny 'bout) Peace, Love, and Understanding," recorded at last year's Lollapalooza. Other highlights include all-star jams of U2's "Where the Streets Have No Name," Bob Marley's "Get Up, Stand Up," "Alice in My Fantasies" by Funkadelic, and the Bob Dylan classic "Chimes Of Freedom." The companion Bonus DVD contains live footage of the Avalon show as well as some excerpts from past Axis shows, which include appearances by artists such as Boots Riley of The Coup and Wayne Kramer. It also includes Tankian's performance of "Speak on It," a spoken piece about Armenian genocide with the rapper Knowledge. Plus as an added bonus, the DVD features audio excerpts from the Axis of Justice radio show. 10) Early 'Intervention' Armenia's Moushegh Baghdasaryan's short film "Intervention" won the the Kenneth F. and Harle G. Montgomery Prize for Excellence for Best Child-Produced Film or Video at the Chicago International Children's Film Festival (CICFF). Fourteen-year-old Moushegh's 2 minute film transforms a symbol of war into a thing of peace, with a message that silence speaks louder than words. The one-minute short "Waltz" by another 14-year-old, Elen Gyulnazarian of Armenia, competed in the same category of Children for Children nominations. The Director of Armenia's Manana Children's-Youth Educational-Cultural Center, Ruzan Baghdasarian, revealed that only 24 films were nominated in the specific category. Baghdasaryan's award marks 15 victories for Manana in international competitions. Thirty other films shot at Manana's small studio have registered victories in various film festivals in England, Greece, Spain, Serbia, and the United States. Founded in 1983, the CICFF is the largest festival of films for children in North America and features over 200 animated and live action films from 40 countries. The Festival welcomes over 24,000 Chicago area children, adults, and educators to the screenings, and over 100 filmmakers, media professionals, and celebrities attend the festival to lead interactive workshops with kids. It is also the first competitive festival of films for children in the US. The impetus for the festival came from a need to introduce new, culturally diverse films for children to American children's audiences, and to recognize excellence in children's filmmaking. From its inception, the festival has had independent juries of children and adult media professionals awarding prizes in multiple categories. The festival provides screenings both for schools and the general public. Educators bring their classes to school screenings during the fall festival to view international films. Films are used as a springboard to class-work in a wide number of subject areas, including geography, math, music, social studies, art, health and language studies. After screenings, children are engaged in discussions with filmmakers and festival personnel. These discussions are designed to lead children and teachers toward powerful dialogue about the role of television and film in their lives. The impact of violent films, and alternatives to them, are frequently explored. Children attending the Festival are also instructed to view each film carefully and critically, so that they may cast an informed ballot for "Best of the Fest." These interactive experiences enrich festival audiences with a wide range of cultural perspectives and give them a "behind-the-scenes" understanding of the art and craft of filmmaking. 11) LOOKING FOR LOVE IN ALL THE WRONG PLACES? Resident Skeptik delves into the deep, dark world of Armenian online dating BY SKEPTIK SINIKIAN I'm not a smart man but I think I know what love is. I know that there are more kinds of love than a woman has pairs of black shoes. There's love of country, the love of a spouse, or the love of a sibling or family member. For instance, the way you love your parents is not the way you love your favorite dish at your favorite restaurant. You'd take a bullet for your parents. You (hopefully) wouldn't take a bullet for a plate of chee kufta. But whether you're a rich man or poor man, educated or uneducated, almost everyone (I said ALMOST) falls in love at one point or another in their lifetime. I'm bringing this issue up because lately, and I don't know why, everyone around me is either getting engaged, married or falling in...dare I say it...love. I thought springtime was when love blossomed but I guess we Armenians are always late anyway. I think love is a beautiful concept but I think people should learn to love themselves and be comfortable with who they are before seeking validation from another human being. This is particularly important for Armenians. Of all the people in the world, you would be hard pressed to find a group that are bigger xenophiles (lovers of all things foreign) than Armenians. On top of everything else, they are also uncomfortable with themselves. I'm not a Buddhist but I believe in Buddha's advice: "You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection." Armenians just can't seem to love themselves unless it's a dysfunctional type of love. When it comes to music at a banquet or dance, we're ready to run and jump in the arms of that Arabic, Persian, or even...yes…Turkish seductress. When it comes to jewelry, clothes, food, whatever the case may be…Armenians place such high regard on all things foreign. But when it comes down to it--to bringing someone home to mom and dad--90 % of Armenians are adamant that it is important to marry someone who is also Armenian. This makes perfect sense (sarcastic tone starts in 3…2…1) if you think about it. After all, you have to marry an Armenian, so your children can grow up Armenian, learn how to speak, read, and write Armenian and then only speak English to their friends and family and shake their "voreegs" to non-Armenian music every weekend! If anyone out there thinks that by marrying someone Armenian, you are able to ensure that your children or grandchildren will grow up Armenian, than I have a bridge in Brooklyn that I will sell you for only $20,000. There are exceptions to every rule. There are Armenians who will marry other Armenians and find happiness but marrying a fellow Armenian isn't the key to that happiness. The real key to happiness is finding someone who shares your beliefs and values. And if you value being Armenian and your spouse respects and cherishes your values, then you will have children who will learn about their cultural identity and grow up to be good people. "What if she doesn't want your children to learn Armenian?" countered my friend emphatically during one of our hypothetical scenario debates recently. "What about it? I don't even know any Armenian girls that can read or write Armenian fluently. Most of them think Hovhannes Toumanian is a car mechanic in Hollywood and wouldn't be able to make pilaf and dolma if their lives depended on it," I responded sardonically. A week after this exchange, I discovered that my friend had registered online with an Internet dating service. I hope it works for him and he finds "the one," that one girl out there who will be able to raise his children to be as materialistic as they can be and not know the difference between 301 AD and 450 AD but be able to spot the difference between an S-Class and C-Class Benzos from a mile away. But kudos to whoever came up with the idea to gather up all the insecure Armenians out there and bring them together on one website. I have to admit, my curiosity had been aroused. I had to find out more about this so-called "singles" website. I did a search on Google on "Armenian Singles" and came up with not just one, not two, but a whole group of websites all aimed at bringing Armenians together and helping them fall in love. The first one I visited was "HyeSingles" (HS henceforth.) HS claims to be "Your Compatible Armenian Singles Community." Before I delved any further into the world of Armenian singles, I decided to look up their "success stories." My favorite was a comment by Armen with no last name. (We'll try to use different names to protect the innocent). Armen wrote, "Thank you for being out there for me. I am not lonely anymore!" This made me wonder if this was some kind of joke. Can these really be Armenians posting success stories online? One person from Iran met her "hubbie" in the US and they are now married. I thought maybe these were fabricated stories until I came across a posting by "ArmenianCutie." It read as follows (I've inserted my own opinions in bold and in brackets where appropriate): Hey, so like I was not sure [ten bucks says she's from the San Fernando Valley, maybe even a Ferrahian grad] about this Internet dating thing and given the small size and talkatitive [who is this girl? Is she related to George W. Bush?] nature of the Armenian community [talkative? A blind date is talkative! The Armenian community makes the CIA look like a kindergarten game of telephone] I was apprehensive posting my profile, much less my picture but after some convincing from my younger sister (who coincidentally met her hubbie online) [like I care] I got up the nerve to go through with it. Well let me tell you, I not only was amazed at the number of emails I received, but at the quality of your members. [Nowhere else in the world will you find such a large collection of aging, balding men with German luxury cars who still live at home and wear more jewelry than their mother] Long story short I went on several dates before meeting my Armenian match so to speak.["so to speak" --translation: he didn't drool, or drag his knuckles on the ground and didn't think that it was okay to sleep with women who aren't Armenian because its only practice for when you do marry a pure as the snow virgin] We've been dating for 4 months now and knock on wood [wow, I guess this is an actual Armenian testimonial, unless "knock on wood" means something else in non-Armenian circles, like "PLEASE SAVE ME FROM THIS ABOOSH. Oops, did I say aboosh? I hope no one cancels a subscription], we are both extremely happy and appreciative to have found each other. So I've decided to conduct an experiment. After all, Ralph Waldo Emerson said that "All life is an experiment." It starts with this issue and will last as long as it has to. Like Jacques Cousteau, I shall venture into the unknown--this Armenian online singles soiree, and see if it is indeed possible to meet normal people. The experiment will be the following. I will create anonymous profiles loosely based on actual single friends that I have (with their consent) and go fishing for a mate. See you next week when we report from the world of the single, lonely, and looking. Skeptik Sinikian is over 5 feet tall, enjoys TV sitcom theme songs, reading billboards, and brief sprints on the beach (he's allergic to sand and sea salt). Anyone interested can contact him at skeptiksinikian@aol.com or visit his blog at All subscription inquiries and changes must be made through the proper carrier and not Asbarez Online. ASBAREZ ONLINE does not transmit address changes and subscription requests. (c) 2004 ASBAREZ ONLINE. All Rights Reserved. ASBAREZ provides this news service to ARMENIAN NEWS NETWORK members for academic research or personal use only and may not be reproduced in or through mass media outlets. --Boundary_(ID_RYgg0kn2k27HDpEDtJjvmQ)--